JMT’s Retro Games

Finding Fun in Maligned Games

Posted on April 6th, 2008 by JMT.
Categories: Articles.

I find I sometimes polarize a bit too far into the “awesomeness” of some games just to offset the more generally negative reviews.

I think it’s a mental state that makes you find the good in a game. I got the 32X when it first came out, and was completely awestruck by the 1st person 3D action of “Doom” (at the time my computer couldn’t play it, and I never owned a Jaguar). FuncoLand had a list a mile long of expected titles already priced on their inventory sheet (even though as it turns out, the titles I was most interested in - Alien Vs Predator and Virtual Hamster - never arrived, and I really started to hate the fact that Funco would list pricess for games that were never released, which kept you thinking that you could somehow find them somewhere, sometime. They even used to have Alien Vs Predator listed as a Genesis port as well).

Luckily I was one of those that noticed I had to make sure (my mom picked up for xmas) the correct version that had the Genesis model 1 cable. However, the 32x only came with an RCA composite mono output, and at the time, most of the TVs were still antenna-only. I had to bring the 32X down from my bedroom to the living room to play 32x games. Kind of an oddity, right off the start.

I got Doom, Star Wars, and Virtua Racing with the system. Doom was amazing, even if the screen was a bit small (it wasn’t until later I discovered they’d cut out some parts of levels, and actually only included 1.5 chapters from the PC version). Star Wars was actually the game I was most interested in, but it struck me as a big disappointment when I first played it. First, it was kind of odd that they didn’t have any music playing during that intro cinema, just 3D graphics. And I thought you would have full 360o freedom of flight in the X-wing, and it turned out you were only limited to a little bit of nose-up and a little bit of nose-down. And then your ship controls like a blimp. It’s impossible to dogfight those tie’s when you turn slower than molasses and they zip around like flies. It also makes it near impossible to navigate through those trenches on the death star levels. The ties can pass right through bulkheads without problems.  But I was really annoyed at first when I’d end up bouncing back and forther against trench walls like a pinball game and die.

But it was Star Wars, and it was my 32X, and I forced myself to have fun. Eventually I figured out that I could plug in player 2 with auto-fire, so I’d have 2 cursors firing on the screen and one extra shield, and eventually managed to beat both original and arcade modes (I later picked up a new copy, and for some reason, the game always freezes on the last level of 32x mode now). And the voice over for admiral ackbar was pathetic! But it grew on your after a while. And I figured out how to beat those deathstar levels. Those towers would kill you, so you have to dive right away into the trenches, and then use that “stop timer” code, and just take your sweet time picking up your 35 ties in the tenches. There are some sections of trench that have no guns to worry about.

Oooh and that super star destroyer level. The fact that your x-wing controls like a blimp makes it sheer impossible to navigate through its belly. BUT I played it endlessly anyway, and now I’m a pro. First, you have to memorize where those proton torpedo launchers are going to be, and then blast them away from a distance before they start launching. And then take it carefully down the belly, but assume you’re going to bounce afew times, which is why you need to save at least 5 shields for that part. Plus it’s impossible to target the guns in the belly, since then you’ll fly into the wall. But I tell you, the first time I made it through i was like the biggest accomplishment of my life.

Ok, so where does this get to Motocross?

Well, some half a year later, and no more video games worth 50$ have come out for the 32X??? But I would not give up! It was my baby. All they came out with was some sports games (I don’t like sports games anyway, not since atari 2600 anyway), and ports of arcade games back from the 8-bit days (afterburner, space harrier), and ports of games already on the genesis (MKII, and the 32x-CD games). Compared to the depth of a game you got with doom, star wars, and virtua racer, I just didn’t want to spend 50$ on simple, narrow-concept games like afterburner, space harrier, motocross, etc.

Luckily, we found this place called Mario’s Video, and they actually rented a full selection of Sega CD and 32X games! Amazing! The only place I’ve ever known to have stocked those systems for rent. So finally, I had a chance to play all these games that I didn’t want to spend 50$ on. They were of course fun, but arcade fun, not expensive long-time fun. Except motocross. That was fun enough that I went to Planet Games and payed 20$ (an exceptable price) for a copy.

I just wanted texture mapping! Doom whet my appetite, but nothing else delivered. But those textured tracks on Motorcross were just what I was looking for.

And then there was Metalhead. It was amazing to get a fully textured 3D environment. Even though the frame rate went down to .5fps when you ran and fired at the same time. Unfortunately, once I’d get to the last level (which didn’t take too long, there were only like 5 or 6), I could never figure out how to win. So I felt I’d done it all. It missed some polish.

Well, Saturn came out, and I was pissed. 32X was supposed to be the 32-bit platform. Why wouldn’t they just start making GOOD games for the 32X-CD platform, instead of throwing out something new. The 32X-CD combo was capable of as much as the Saturn. But the idiots just kept porting bad FMV games to it.

Finally, Virtua Fighter came out and we 32x lovers thought we were saved. Expecially since the 32X version was better than the Saturn version. I thought that meant or sure a longer life.

The last few games trickled out, I got Primal Rage and T-Mek for my birthday (’96?). T-Mek too again was a disappointment. I was expecting texture mapped terrain and polygon hovercraft. Instead. the entire game was sprites. The shooting action wasn’t very intense. Too slow of firing rate. Though again I forced myself to have fun. I played it all the way through to the end a couple times. There were some neat parts. The cave level and the fire level were fun. But the action was very repetative.

And then it died. All 32X systems were being clearanced for 20$. Games were dumped in the clearance bin.

Sega pissed me off. They had the perfect console made, and many of us bought it - the Genesis+CD+32X system. It was perfect because it was backwardds compatible with all prior systems. You never had to give up your old games to get the new power. The Saturn meant giving up your old games. The 32X-CD had so much potential, but they never used it.

While I still clung on to hope that more games would keep being released for my favorite systems (CD and 32X), the few games I had were all I had. I made the most of them. I found the good parts, and learned how to work around the bad parts.

That’s how it used to work. I’d get a game, and I’d try to play the most of it, because I didn’t know any better. I can’t believe how many times I actually tried getting through Empire Strikes Back for the NES. Futile. I actually spent hours playing ST-TNG for Genesis. It was star trek, it had to be fun, right? Not.

Now, I have the entire past library of a dozen systems at my disposal. I can purchase the games for less than 5$, and I can resell them at the MGC for even more. I have hundreds of games in my collection I haven’t even played yet. So now I just play the first level, and if it ain’t turning me on, it goes in the sale bin. No time to waste on mediocre titles, when I’ve got a hundred other games I haven’t even played yet burning a hole in my shelf.

So, that’s the difference in mental state. One state is needing to find fun in a game, or needing to find any fun game from a limited library. The other state is needing to find the most fun games from a large library.

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